These days, I am the epitome of Puritan practicality. However, sometimes that leaves me feeling a little drab. Last week, I rummaged through my closet in hopes of looking like something other than a slob at work. I broke out arguably the only ‘stylish’ pair of shoes I own, which incidentally also happen to have four-inch heels. When I put them on, I expected to feel stylish and POWERFUL. However, as I walked into my office, I just felt unusually tall and WOBBLY.
As I wobbled to the copy machine, I could not help envisioning all the drunk, bobble-headed women that I had mercilessly mocked in my mind the weekend before, when I was in downtown Manhattan after midnight for a birthday party. There were droves of scantily clad young women, looking hot but dumb, as they stumbled through the streets in incredibly awkward (and noticeably painful) footwear. In that moment of anthropological observation, I had wondered, “Why do men find high heels so sexy?” Is it really because they make women’s legs look long and boobs stick out? Or is it because women wearing high heels after midnight look like injured deer with large target signs on their backs? If horror movies are to be believed, it is the latter. Let’s be honest, ladies: We aren’t going anywhere very fast in these shoes.
I wobbled back to my desk thinking, “God, I look dumb.” In light of my epiphany, it would reasonable to assume that I ditched my stylish shoes for something more practical as I raced off to dinner later that night with my husband. Yeah…No.