Drunk Bobbleheads–Ode to a Shoe

These days, I am the epitome of Puritan practicality.  However, sometimes that leaves me feeling a little drab.  Last week, I rummaged through my closet in hopes of looking like something other than a slob at work.  I broke out arguably the only ‘stylish’ pair of shoes I own,  which incidentally also happen to have four-inch heels.  When I put them on, I expected to feel stylish and POWERFUL.  However, as I walked into my office, I just felt unusually tall and WOBBLY.

As I wobbled to the copy machine, I could not help envisioning all the drunk, bobble-headed women that I had mercilessly mocked in my mind the weekend before, when I was in downtown Manhattan after midnight for a birthday party.  There were droves of scantily clad young women, looking hot but dumb, as they stumbled through the streets in incredibly awkward (and noticeably painful) footwear.  In that moment of anthropological observation, I had wondered, “Why do men find high heels so sexy?”  Is it really because they make women’s legs look long and boobs stick out?  Or is it because women wearing high heels after midnight look like injured deer with large target signs on their backs?  If horror movies are to be believed, it is the latter.  Let’s be honest, ladies:  We aren’t going anywhere very fast in these shoes.

I wobbled back to my desk thinking, “God, I look dumb.”  In light of my epiphany, it would reasonable to assume that I ditched my stylish shoes for something more practical as I raced off to dinner later that night with my husband.  Yeah…No.

#women

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*These are NOT “my only pair of ‘stylish’ shoes.” THESE shoes are presumably in my in-laws basement, which means they are NOT mine, as I will presumably never see them again. #lostforever in #basementofhorrors
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16 thoughts on “Drunk Bobbleheads–Ode to a Shoe

    1. Generally, I couldn’t care less about the ‘strut to and from the office.’ Court is a different matter, and I keep three to five pairs of shoes (including a pair of flip-flops for driving) and a suit jacket in my car at all times, so I am prepared for any occasion. I don’t keep anything special at the office, because the first thing I do when I get in is shut my door and kick my shoes off. (Shh!…and I wonder why our office manager has declared me the resident ‘flower child.’)

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  1. I made the choice to ditch the uber-high sexy-girl heels for the black tie event we attended last night, instead opting for some cute, but “granny” kitten heels. An hour later, after finding out the museum was 4-stories and required much stair climbing (not to mention that we had to park 2 blocks away), I was thrilled with my unfashionable feets, as they were still functioning.

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    1. Hail to the kitten heel! The week I moved to New York, I was introduced to born-and-raised New York City (female) attorney (of a certain age) who told me that her mother once advised her that when you find a good pair of shoes you are to buy a pair in every color, because it won’t happen often. On that advice, I now have an entire closet full of identical granny dress shoes in a rainbow of colors, a handful of ‘normal’ heels in desperate need of repair (from being subjected to the slate sidewalks of downtown Charleston for a mere 6 months) and one pair of ‘stylish’ ankle boots (with at least 4-inch heels) that I bought the week we left Charleston…and therefore were never subjected to slate sidewalks and thus still have their heels. I should probably go shopping or at least go see a peddler to fix all my broken shoes. I like looking nice, but I hate shopping. There are so many wonderful things to do on the weekends that do not include waiting in line at a department store.

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  2. I love shoes. I love your shoes in this picture. I don’t wear heels very often, and when I do it’s because they make me feel a certain way or just look right with certain clothes. I guess I like the option if and when I want it. But yes, heels wreak havoc on your body and you shouldn’t wear them for extended periods of time. I certainly agree on that!

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    1. These shoes have a funny story. My cousin is tall, and her husband is not. She loves heels and wears the same size shoes as me. When she got married, she stopped wearing heels, but she could not stop buying them. Whenever she saw me, she would give me a stack of boxes of new heels she had picked up at ridiculous prices. She paid $2 or $3 for this pair. I didn’t wear them much, because they were so high. However, I my wedding dress was a hand-me-down from my mother-in-law. It was a stunning lace dress from circa 1977. My mother-in-law is very tall. I am not. When I saw a seamstress, she was going to charge me over $300 just to hem the dress. Since I was already paying $500 to get it altered and repaired, I said forget that and just wore these very tall shoes instead. Unfortunately, they never made it home after the wedding and are presumably lost somewhere in my in-laws basement.

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      1. I was attempting to find a photo of this dress that would do it justice (without having me in it.) Well, this is the best I can do. The fabric had some discoloration from age and improper storage, which my seamstress had to cut out and patch. That was part of the reason it was so expensive; she did a really good job though. It had a cool train which we put in a French bustle for, neither of which you can see in these photos. (Wow, this post is getting girlier and girlier!)
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      2. Oh my gosh! Absolutely stunning! The shoes are perfect with the dress! It’s just beautiful! And your hair and the photo in the doorway! Well worth the money you spent to restore it. Just love your photos!

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      3. Thanks! Yeah, I really lucked out. I was standing in a bridal shop in Charleston, trying on a 5k lace dress, and realized I was being an idiot. My mother-in-law had offered me a very similar dress for free (this one) about a year prior that I had completely shrugged off. When we went back for Christmas, we dug it out of her closet, and I hired a seamstress instead. Best decision ever.

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      4. Yes it sure was. I agree on how ridiculous the prices can be on wedding dresses. I was married on a beach, barefoot, and wearing a white gauze dress with flowers in my hair. We had our best friends with us as maid of honor and best man. It was incredible. I never needed the fancy dress or wedding.

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