“Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver* was called to the scene a crime where a shocking abduction took place, of the renowned Prince Edward’s Cutting Edge. Even more disturbing to Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver was the sudden appearance of the No Mercee Knife family**, sporting their foreign accents, stating they had no idea where Prince Edward might have gone.It became quickly obvious to Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver, this crime had been premeditated, with cold bladed cunning, with immense implications. If he couldn’t solve this crime, and solve it quickly, life in rural America may never be same.What kind of life has dimmed lights, curtains closed, windows and doors bolted shut, frequent inspections of the parameters of the home, nervous peeks into the night air with a plethora of knives that have never seen action.Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver felt the solemness of this moment and resolved in his heart, this crime must be solved, and perpetrators brought to justice. Prince Edward’s Cutting Edge had to be saved and this is why they had called Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver, as he would leave no cutting board unturned…no drawer unopened.”
** I bought my dad the “No Mercee Knife family” for Christmas.
* When my dad complained that his Christmas knives were no match his long lost Edward-Not-So-Sharp (who was stolen by some dirty, unnamed scoundrels) at cutting winter squash, I mailed him Inspector Leafit T. Cleaver in a show of good faith. My good faith was not appreciated. My dad is very loyal. Edward was a faithful servant for over ten years and cannot simply be replaced by a fancy-pants, shiny-faced inspector.
PS: If you haven’t been following the story of the crime, you should catch up: “Edward-Not-So-Sharp” Goes to Hell (and Loves It)