Happy Worm Day! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP We interrupt your regularly scheduled Worm Day programming to bring you this live report from Brașov. Captain Poblano has been spotted wearing a red cape outside MSOTP headquarters (pronounced meest-up.) He appears to be in a face-off with a human-sized aphid bearing a striking resemblance to “The Head.” According to our reporter on the ground, the aphid is exhibiting certain zombie-like symptoms. We cannot confirm this, as she was unable to get close enough to observe its toenails. Does anyone have any butter popcorn flavored jelly bellies??? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!!
If you are wondering where your Thursday Worm Day worm fact is, perhaps you did not notice we have an international crisis unfolding before us. Your patience is appreciated. Yesterday’s post was pretty wormy. Perhaps it will tide you over until we get the situation under control:
**My blog is really just a very elaborate joke that has gotten very, very out of hand. This post is a joke inside of that joke combined with a third, unrelated joke. This post is also my GREATEST work yet, and therefore will be understood by no one for at least 200 years, at which point it will still be understood by no one. Nevertheless, at that time, it will be rediscovered by an oddball librarian with a soft spot for zombie aphids. Due to her influence, this post will be included in a dime novel series and distributed to intergalactic soldiers going off to fight space aliens. Although the soldiers will not understand the story, they will identify with Captain Poblano, feeling that his story is strangely parallel to their own. After they return from the war, due to their influence, I will become famous and be declared “classic.” But it will be too late for me. I will have died 100 years earlier, a pauper. Oh, the tragic life of an artist. (Yes, this is a reference to the Great Gatsby. How did you guess? It is a joke inside of a joke inside of a joke. It is like looking into a mirror facing a mirror facing a mirror.)
“You can stop whenever you want to,” said the adult voice of Allie Brosh. (That is a reference to Brosh’s book, Hyperbole and a Half, and its discussion of the physical properties of salt and pepper. It is ALSO a joke inside of a joke inside of a joke inside of a joke about stopping ALL of this madness, right this very moment, which I will.)
*I would like to dedicate my greatest achievement to all of the people that made it possible: my brother, the secret ninja society, Joe, the other Joe and, of course, Captain Poblano.