Men with Flowers

Lifehack for Her

Tell your significant other that you find men holding bouquets in parking lots to be VERY sexy.  You may never have to buy flowers again.

Lifehack for Him

She isn’t lying when she says this.  Men with flowers ARE very sexy.  Let me illustrate.  Let’s say this is you, and you are a five out of ten.

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This is you in a parking lot with a flower:

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This is you in a parking lot with a LOT of flowers:

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With a mere $6.99 at your local grocery store, you can raise your score by four whole points.  That’s not easy to do.  There are other ways: get a job.  But, come on, this only takes five minutes and $6.99!

So you say, you have already tricked your significant other into a long-term relationship.  She knows you are a five.  Why bother?  Well, here is the other thing about flowers.  They are MAGIC.

Jedi Mind Control
Jedi Mind Control

Flowers emit Jedi mind control rays into whatever room they are placed.  These rays reduce stress by a factor of two.  They increase cooperation by a factor of three.  However, if you hand flowers to someone, the effect on that person is doubled.

Let’s say you forgot to take the trash out this morning, and you had to stay late at work.  This is you coming home:

Coming home without flowers 1Coming home without flowers 2Coming home without flowers 3

But this, this is you coming home WITH FLOWERS:

Coming home with flowers 1Coming home with flowers 2Coming home with flowers 3

The effects of cut gerber daisies last approximately three to seven days, while the effects of a potted orchid can last over a month.  This is without a doubt the best $6.99 you’ll ever spend.

Man with Flowers

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7 thoughts on “Men with Flowers

    1. Thanks! I measure my life in apartments and degrees. San Nicholas Island was 12 apartments and 3 degrees ago. Since I have only started this blog a couple of weeks ago (i.e., zero apartments and zero degrees ago), please forgive me for not having blogged about it yet. I actually hadn’t thought about San Nicholas Island for years, until seeing your adorable fox! It was an undergraduate program with CSULA. San Nicholas Island is officially uninhabited, and you are officially not allowed to go there, as it is protected. In reality, some people do stay there temporarily: military personnel, scientists and archeologists. They do military testing on San Nicholas, as well as non-military research. We were staying in a military hotel. I don’t know what you mean by “NP,” but it is a part of the Channel Islands. I don’t remember the name of the sites we were excavating, but judging by the Wikipedia article, they probably belonged to the Nicoleño people. What does your son do? For anyone joining this conversation, it was kicked off by these lovely photos: http://cindyknoke.com/2014/10/25/las-islas-bonitas/

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